Yesterday was my favorite so far. Instead of heading into the throngs of the Mela, we went in the other direction. We walked along the Ganges for a while then veered off into a large prairie and walked along a path toward a village. Here we saw sheepherders with large flocks, and herds of an antelope-type animal. It was so nice after the heat, dust and noise of the Mela.

The village we were walking through was expecting us. As Westerners only walk through a couple times a year, generally with the Himalayan Institute, HI went there the day before to tell them we'd be coming. That way they could stay in and out of sight if they wanted. However, a lot of villagers were out, and it was wonderful.

This village is a "healthy" village, meaning not a poor one. They do have electricity, although from what I could see it looked like maybe a bare bulb or two per household. Houses are clay or brick with thatch roofs. Each house has several  cattle, usually tied to a ground post in the yard. I think I heard some goats inside the structures, but I didn't see any chickens, as Hindus generally do not eat eggs as well as meat. 

It definitely felt awkward taking photos; on one hand I don't want to leave without something  to remember this walk, on the other it feels intrusive. However, again, the curiosity seems to go both ways. Several women and I made eye contact and smiled at each other; I think if I spoke Hindi or they English it would have been wonderful, but not so exotic. One woman spoke enthusiastically at Doug and I as we were admiring her cow; we had no idea what she was saying, but it seemed to be encouraging us to take a picture. So, we did, and right on cue as we snapped the shutter it let out a huge bellow. We jumped back and she laughed hysterically. I think she had that cow well trained.

Kids, of course, are the great equalizer, and they LOVE having their picture taken. They run up saying "hello!" "hello!" "hi!" and ask for a picture, which you then show to them on the screen and they laugh. They shake hands and generally love visitors.

My favorite was a boy who met us on the road with his camel. He let me pet it, and then asked if we wanted to see it lie down. Our guide spoke Hindi and everyone said, no, because it looks like so much effort for a camel to get up and down. But the boy really wanted to show off for us, so finally he ignored us and started saying "sit!" "sit!" and the camel with much effort lied down on the road. Then he got up and the two of them ran off, camel on a leash like a dog, into the field.

While I'm loving the cultural part of this trip, there are also lectures in the ashram on the symbolism of this place, visits to temples, and lectures on meditation. I am particularly enjoying Rolf Sovik's lectures on meditation and mantra.

Finally, weather has its highs and lows. Daytime temperatures are beautiful, sunny, high 70s. But nighttime has been quite cold, high 40s. As Sunday is an auspicious bathing day at the Mela, crowds are growing, and the fervor is building. This means that any hour of the night I wake because of cold, it'll be equally tough to go back to sleep due to noise. 2:00, 4:00am, the Mela never sleeps, and from 4 kilometers away, the din is consistent.

Yoga is a Spiritual Practice

Most of us that practice yoga seriously know this is true: Yoga is first and foremost a spiritual practice. If we don't know it through our classes and our studies, we certainly may have experienced it during a yoga class; that feeling of wholeness, one-pointed focus, and vibrating awareness that happens when the pranic energy is flowing freely through the body and the mind is focused and calm.

This feeling is what keeps many students returning to their mats, even though their real interest is the physical benefits of the practice. But, there is something about yoga that transcends the physical freedom created.

Over the next few weeks I'll be visiting India to dive into the spiritual component of this ancient practice. Yes, I anticipate spending plenty of time on the mat at the Himalayan Institute "ashrams" where I'll be staying. But, the emphasis here will be highly spiritual, as myself and fellow students are embarking on a "pilgrimage" to the Maha Kumbha Mela in Allahabad.

"Maha" means great. "Kumbha" means container or vessel. This title refers to the vessel that holds the elixir of life. Ancient Indian legends tell that every 12 years at this time, this elixir of life pours down from the heavens to a point near Allahabad where three rivers meet: the Ganges, the Yamuna and the mystical Sarasvati. This creates a powerful vortex of strong spiritual intensity at this location, where millions of pilgrims, yogis, saints, and sages have joined to practice during this event for over 5000 years.

I'm excited to see the culture of India, to practice at the birthplace of yoga, to listen to lectures by esteemed teachers, sages and saints, and to be a part of this event. I'll be joined by my husband and two daughters. They are not practicing yogis, but they know down dog from plank and even can belt out a chant or two. Who knows? Maybe they'll feel the buzz??

I plan to blog as often as our schedule and internet access will allow, so keep an eye on the Focus Yoga studio blog here for updates, as that will be my primary posting point.

When I return the end of February, I'll be hard at work planning our next Focus Yoga Immersion and Teacher Training, so stay posted for news.

Namaste!

Judi

The empty teacup and the learning mind

Judi Harvin

So this man goes to see this zen teacher. He says (demandingly, as he is a very busy man) "Teach me everything you know!"

The zen master looks at him, then slowly goes to the cupboard to get a cup, which he places on the table. He picks up his tea pot, and begins to pour. Soon the cup is filled, but he continues to pour. Water begins to run over the sides of the cup and on the table.

The man watches this, confused, then yells, "Stop! Can't you see the cup is filled? Stop pouring, the water is spilling all over the table!"

The teacher stops pouring and sets down the pot. Then, he looks at the blustering man. "You come to me asking for knowledge, but your mind is like this cup, already full. Anything I add will simply pour out; there's no room for more."

I love telling students this story, and my trainees have heard it more than once. As they are embarking on a learning path, it becomes so important to learn to clear, to empty the mind.

The terms "information overload", "decision fatigue", and "TMI" are bouncing about for good reason. We have access to more information and more choices than every before. Well managed, this can be a benefit. But, poorly managed, it can lead to confusion, poor focus, and an inability to absorb and digest information.

A teacher training offers so much information that the student can feel overwhelmed. And, that's even before popping open the laptop and looking for more information to satisfy that insatiable sweet tooth that inspired students have for learning everything yoga! How does a motivated, and very busy, student handle this desire to learn more? Here are some tips:

Stay on topic.  Look back at your notes for your previous training class. List the topics that were discussed, the asanas, philosophy, etc. Study these notes. If the class left you burning with excitement, look for more information on those topics. If you have limited time for your studies, focus it here.

Resist studying ahead of topic. Just like the rest of the world, the yogic world is full of opinions and often-conflicting methods. Come to class with an clear mind. Allow your instructor to present their teachings. There will be plenty of time to learn other methods. Study one first.

Develop your personal practice. You may feel this is a ripe time to try every style of yoga, and with as many teachers as possible. This can lead to confusion when in a training. Stay on one path. Reduce the number of classes you take and the exposure to different teachers and styles. Instead, get on your own mat at home and pull out your notes. Start to study, dissect and personally experience the alignment, pranayama and meditation techniques you learned in training.

Teach it! Speak it! Share it!  While I was attending my first teacher training, the instructor of the yoga class I was attending at the YMCA decided to leave and asked me if I wanted to take over his class. I thought this would be a great opportunity, so I said yes.

My training met on a Saturday. Sunday, Monday, Tuesday and Wednesday I studied relentlessly, solidifying the alignment and cueing I had learned. Wednesday nights I showed up in class and taught those poses. I'll tell you, it was the best way to ingest, digest and process information.

Find a willing friend or family member and start teaching them what you are learning. So many people want to learn yoga, this should not be difficult to do. Set up something regular, so you have a rhythm and commitment. Over time, this experience will not only help old the lessons solidify, but will direct your focus toward the most pertinent information in future lessons.

In only a few short months you will complete your training, and have a good understanding of the foundational principles of yoga. But, perhaps the most important skill you will learn in your training is how to empty your cup, again and again, allowing space for the next bit of wisdom.

To learn more about Focus Yoga's Yoga Immersion and Teaching Skills Training, visit our website, www.focusyogastudio.com, call Judi at 708 471 0487, or email info@focusyogastudio.com.

Keeping balance in a body that resists change

As a practicing yogi, I have special powers. I can see into the future. If I wonder where I will be and what I'll be doing 5 minutes from now, I simply take a look around me. Chances are I'll be exactly in the same place as I am right now.

I heard that nugget somewhere and it stuck with me. The more I observed my actions, I saw it was true. If I am lying in bed in the morning, trying to talk myself into getting up, there is a good chance in 5 minutes I'll still be having the same conversation. If I am sitting on the couch, contemplating getting up and doing dishes, there is a good chance I'll still be there in 5 minutes, dishes congealing on the counter. The truth is, our bodies and our minds like to stay right where they are. They don't like change.

This may sound discouraging, since we all would like to be productive and active. We all have something we want to change, and discovering that we are battling nature, human and otherwise, is not helpful. Or is it?

In Ayurveda, there is a saying "Like attracts Like". In Ayurvedic terms, this means the elements that are strongest in our systems tend to absorb those same elements from our environment. If you're a light, airy, dry, cold Vatta-type, you'll feel especially cold and stiff on a windy, frigid winter day. A hot, fiery Pitta-type might feel uncomfortably hot and aggravated after a spicy meal. And, a sweet, solid, relaxed Kapha-type might never get off the sofa after consuming a heavy hot fudge sundae!

When our elements are in proper balance for us, all is well. We follow healthy routines. We can compensate for small environmental shifts. And, because the body and mind doesn't like change, we crave foods that will keep us in this balance. We have the energy to create healthy meals and exercise appropriately. We feel strong and happy!

But, what if a strong environmental shift comes along? What if we are hit with a big change, such as a move, job loss, heat wave, hectic schedule, disturbing argument, etc? What if the forces around us are so intense they bring out out of balance?

Well, same thing, only worse. If the heat in a fiery person is aggravated, they will become even hotter, maybe looking for conflict or craving heated physical exercise. An sad experience can cause a person struggling with heaviness and lethargy to crave a lie-in on the couch with a tub of Ben and Jerry's. And a major change can cause a disorganized, airy type to resist any attempts at routine and organization, puttering aimlessly while any real production ceases, wondering where the keys are.

Yes, this is nature. This is to be expected. Yet, knowledge is power. This leads me to my final, most exciting point:

Opposites create balance.

If Like qualities increase Like qualities, then Opposite qualities decrease Like qualities. (Catchy, huh?) So, when you are feeling out of balance, (and rest-assured, you know when that is), take a look at your cravings. Ask yourself, is indulging in this activity or food-type stuff going to make me feel better? Or, will it aggravate my imbalance? Can I put off indulging in XYZ, and try something totally opposite? At least for a few minutes?

This does require detachment and discipline. You need to recognize the imbalance, and look at it for what it is; too much of something in your system. Too much heat, cold, heaviness, airiness. Then, you need to determine what the opposite quality might be, and apply.

If you are feeling scattered and unfocused, resist indulging in mindless internet surfing. Try 10 minutes of meditation. Organize a drawer that you can later look at in pride and feel more grounded.

If you feel heavy and lethargic, eat a lighter meal, such as leafy greens or fruit. Go for a brisk walk.

If you are hot and irritable, resist the cardio-boxing class. Instead, pull out your bolster. Indulge in some restorative yoga and deep breathing. Then, make yourself a decadent ice cream cone.

Yep, someone has to get the treat.

Keeping Strong and Sharp with Agni

Judi Harvin

Last post we talked about agni, the "digestive fire" that aids in transformation.

The really cool thing about agni is that is relates not only to food, but also to thoughts, ideas and knowledge. Are you a student, trying to learn? An artist, brainstorming? Trying to master a new language or instrument? Solving a perplexing problem? This is agni at work.

Anything we bring into our body goes through a process of transformation. Then, it may become a part of us, such as a healthy food or a new idea. It may also be eliminated, like un-utilized food, ideas or knowledge. That healthy veggie stew you ate for dinner? Of course you want those super-vitamins transforming into your vibrant cells and tissues. That great quote from the Gita that your instructor offered in class? With healthy agni, you can digest it in a way that might open your mind to a new dimension.

Ayurveda looks at qualities, and the qualities of agni include:

Hot

Light

Dry

Subtle

Flowing

Sharp

Penetrating

Clear

Kind of like fire...or an engaged, active, focused mind, perhaps?

So, if we want our digestion strong so we feel physically and mentally nourished, strong, active and sharp, we need to cultivate healthy agni.

The last blog looked at the characteristics of poor agni; bloat, lethargy, heaviness (mental or weight), etc. You certainly know if these apply to you, but you may not have thought of it in terms of poor digestion. Let's do an experiment. If you suspect your agni needs a little stoking, try to incorporate several of the following steps for the next couple of weeks, and observe the effects.

Eat three meals at the about the same time each day. Allow 3 hours between meals to rekindle agni. "Foraging", or eating smaller amounts frequently, depletes agni. It takes three hours to fully digest a meal and let the system rest a bit.

Eat your biggest meal at noon. Agni is strongest at this point.

Eat until you are 3/4 full. Overeating suffocates agni. Feed your fire an appropriate amount of quality food.

Do not partake in long fasts. You need to feed your digestive fire fuel to keep it burning. Fasting starves agni.

However, you can rest agni by skipping an occasional meal. The most appropriate meal to skip to rest digestion is dinner.

Eat cooked, nourishing food. Cooking food initiates the first digestive stop. Digesting raw food may be fine if agni is strong, but will be asking too much from depleted agni. And, of course, good quality food will best regulate the digestive fire.

Focus, chew and breath. Chew completely. This is the first step of digestion. Try not to read or watch TV. Avoid agitation; stress depletes agni.

Avoid cold foods and drinks. Take the ice out of your drinks at dinner. Small sips only...you wouldn't douse a fire with water and expect it to burn, would you? Drink plenty of water, sure, just not when you're eating.

Increase heat through movement. Stimulating exercise; jogging, walking, biking, vinyasa yoga create body heat, enkindling agni.

Make meals tasty with herbs. Lots of herbs are known for cultivating agni. Ginger, cumin, turmeric, cardamom, asafoetida, pepper, and more add flavor variety to food. This makes it more satisfying, and stimulates digestion.

Yoga. The full body movements, core work and twists in a yoga class target the organs of digestion. Yoga also has techniques, such as Kappalabhati and Bastrika pranayama, and agni sara that sound complicated, but are not that tough to learn, and easy to bring into your day. Ask your instructor about teaching these in class so you can learn with guidance, and practice at home.

This is quite a punch list. Some of these changes may require effort, so don't try to implement too many at once. But, as you experiment, observe, and add more, notice the results. Do you feel lighter? More energized? Even tempered? Mentally focused? Less cravings? This is the result of healthy agni.

If you'd like to learn more about agni, ama, Ayurveda, as well as some of the herbs, foods, yoga techniques and routines that complement strong digestion, consider our workshop Cultivating Healthy Digestion with Ayurveda. I'll be presenting it this Wednesday from 1:00 - 2:30pm. Register here. 

A ho-hum practice leads to a new passion

I just discovered something new to love, brought to me in an unusual way by my yoga practice.

Saturday night my daughter and I arrived to our farmhouse late. The house had been baking in 90 degree weather all week. It didn't seem the wall AC unit would cool down the bedrooms in time for any sort of happy sleep, so we decided to suck it up and just opened the windows.

I grabbed my mat and headed outside for what I thought would be an amazing practice under the stars. We have an expansive yard (a couple of acres) so I found a spot in the open, and laid my mat down.

I like practicing in dimmer light, but by this time it was pretty black out, and I found my balance to be off. And, although I have seen the encrusted starry country sky many times before, this time I found it really distracting. I just wanted to lie on my back and stare up. I couldn't concentrate.

So, I left my mat where it was, went inside and grabbed a beach towel, sleeping bags and my daughter. That night we slept under the stars.

I had wanted to do this for a while, but something kept me from it: too much trouble to set up? bugs? Fear that something would eat me? Who knows. However, I lived to tell about it, and even have some revelations:

There are no bugs later at night. Apparently, even bugs get tired and go to sleep. They do at my farm and my farm is pretty much a Woodstock for bugs.

The stars are better than TV.  I even saw a huge shooting star, with an amazing tail that glowed before fading away.

Sleeping outside, you don't miss any cool animal sounds. Coyote, bullfrogs, owls. There's a party going on at night, and it's much more pleasant to fall asleep to than the one the neighbors teenagers had last week.

Wake up to entertainment. In the morning, the birds are pretty darn interesting. I love lying for a bit upon waking up, and sleeping outside gave me the perfect excuse, watching birds socializing and showing off right above my head.

If you ever have the urge to grab your mat and head for the forest preserve, your backyard, anywhere outdoors, don't pass it up. Instead, pick it up, lay it out, and move and breath outdoors. Have you ever had an amazing experience practicing in an unusual place? did it lead to new insights? Please, post a comment below. I'd really love to hear about it.  

What Your Tongue is Telling You

Over the past couple of blogs I’ve discussed digestion, ama (that toxic goo that is a byproduct of poor digestion,) and appetite. Perhaps you are beginning to suspect that your digestion isn’t buzzing along as well as you’d like. Maybe you feel a little fatigued, bloating, and irregular. Maybe you are wondering: "Could I have ama?"

There’s one efficient way to tell. Tomorrow morning, immediately after hopping out of bed, shuffle over to the mirror and stick out your tongue. Look hard. What is that? A thick white coating? Especially at the back of the tongue? Take the edge of a stainless steel spoon and scrape. Is your reaction “Ewww!” Yep. That’s ama. 

If that isn’t enough to get you bounding out of bed tomorrow morning, think about this. As I outlined in my November blog, Ayurveda believes much disease begins in the digestive system. The toxic product of poorly digested food, ama, is sort of like an undesirable neighbor. It coats our digestive system and then travels our body searching for a home, settling in our bodies weakest tissues. Our lifestyle and/or heredity can determine what these weak tissues are; heart, lungs, skin, joints. Once ama settles in, disease is soon to follow.

Achy joints, dull skin and eyes, bad breath and a sluggish mind are further indicators of ama. If you suspect the presence of ama, check out my blog “Tips to Keep the Digestive System Perking”. Then, take a few extra steps:

• Brush your teeth and scrape your tongue immediately upon awakening
• Avoid old, processed, artificial and fast food
• Avoid cold, icy foods and drinks
• Make lunch the largest meal of the day, when digestion is strongest
• Eat light foods in large quantities, heavy foods in light quantities
• Skip a meal occasionally to let your digestion rekindle
• Fill a thermos with very warm water and sip throughout the day

These are good tips even if your tongue is squeaky-clean in morning. Why ruin a good thing? If you enjoy good digestion and your body is a clean machine, keep it that way. And if not, a few extra steps can have you enjoying good digestion, better energy, and vibrant health.

Tips to Keep the Digestive System Perking

Lime juice and ginger
stimulate digestion. Herbs
make certain foods more
digestible.

Good digestion, according to Ayurveda, is the #1 way to keep ama at bay. Ama is undigested food, a gooey substance that takes up residence in the weak tissues of the body, leading to disease in those tissues. How to keep the digestive fires burning bright?

Eat when hungry. Develop a good appetite. If you never feel hungry, perhaps you are eating too often. Or, maybe you need to enhance your appetite with exercise. And remember, appetite and cravings are not the same thing! One comes from the belly, and the other from the mind. When a sense of hunger strikes, close your eyes and assess; do you feel content in the body, but anxious or bored in your mind? Or, is this truly hunger in the belly?

Give your digestion a little rest between meals to build appetite and allow digestion of previous meal to complete. Leave a little space in your belly from time to time. 

Chew completely. Chewing is the first step to digestion, and the more food is broken down at this stage, the more able your system is to utilize it.

Avoid cold drinks with meals. The digestive process is a heating process. The digestive juices work better warm and undiluted. Take sips of room temperature water with meals. Give up the icy drink habit and see if you feel less tired and bloated after a meal.

Stop eating before feeling 100% full 

Eat in a calm environment, and only when calm (stress affects digestion). Yes, having a family, I have an occasional laugh with this also. At least, take a slow, gratitude breath before diving in.

Use ginger as an appetite stimulant. Simmer a few slices in water to ingest as a tea. Or, make 1/8 in. thick slices, and eat with a little sea salt and lime. Also, soak 1/8 in. think slices in fresh lime juice for a few hours. Strain, and sweeten juice with a little honey to taste. Take a shot. Also, you can eat a slice or two of the ginger. Try these appetite stimulants 30 - 60 minutes before a meal to jump start the process.

Spices to use in cooking for digestion: cumin, coriander, fennel, turmeric, ginger, black pepper. Add these to a dish while cooking, the heat releases their digestive enhancing properties. These can be especially helpful to add to foods you find difficult to digest, like dairy, meat, or other heavy foods. But, they are delicious in vegetable and egg dishes.

And, yoga sure can help. Yoga can help increase appetite, especially a more vigorous practice. Standing poses help draw energy down, enhancing the downward flow of, umm, energy. And twisting poses tone and stimulate the digestive system.

Despite our best efforts, our digestion might cough and sputter occasionally, leading to the dreaded ama condition. Next week we'll look at this nasty substance to learn how to tell if we have it, and how to eliminate it before it settles in for a long stay.

Keeping the Digestive Fire Burning

Yep, it’s getting colder outside.  But have you noticed any changes inside? The cold and dryness outside means we need to create our own heat inside, and within ourselves. In Ayurveda, the inner heat that transforms our thoughts, perceptions and, yes, food, is called agni.

Strong, healthy agni means food is broken down and utilized efficiently. Hand-in-hand with strong digestion is strong elimination (you know what I mean). Ideally, what we take in as food is broken down, absorbed, assimilated, and the balance eliminated. 

But what if our agni is poor and our digestion and elimination is sluggish? During the colder, less active time of year, this may be an issue. Sure, we may feel a little uncomfortable, but is it really important? 

Yes. According to the ancient health science of Ayurveda, much, if not most, of disease begins in the digestive system. The toxic product of poorly digested food, ama, is sort of like an undesirable neighbor. It originates in our digestive system and then travels our body searching for a home, eventually settling in the areas not strong enough to keep it out: our bodies weakest tissues. Our lifestyle and/or heredity can determine what these weak tissues are. Heart, lungs, skin, joints...ama will find a hangout where there is a vacancy shingle. And once it settles in, there goes the neighborhood; disease is soon to follow.

Many of us aren’t really in-tune with our inner workings. Our digestive system may have the pizzaz and gusto of a snail and we wouldn’t notice. But clearly, we want to keep the neighborhood safe and happy...so it’s worth getting a little sensitive to what’s going on. What are the tell-tail signs of poor digestion?

• Lack of appetite
• Over-fullness after eating
• Tiredness after eating
• Bloating and/or gas
• Irregular (less than once a day) bowel movements
• Small, hard or otherwise constipated BMs

Any of these sound uncomfortably familiar? Check in next week. I’ll list some Ayurvedic and yogic remedies to help stoke agni and keep the digestion burning strongly.

Quick Squash with Yummy Herbs

One of our beautiful CSA shares

One of the things I love about being part of the Focus Yoga CSA is that it forces me to figure out what to do with a kohlrabi, or that weird, green Japanese pumpkin Randy snuck in my box, not once, but three times. And, I never enjoyed typical acorn squash recipes, either. Squash is so sweet, adding butter and brown sugar sent me into a puckered-lip sugar rush.

So, now that I've discovered savory Ayurvedic herbs and cooking, squash has taken on a whole new appeal. In this recipe, the cumin and coriander stimulate digestion, and the cumin also relieves congestion. Turmeric is an Ayurvedic powerhouse; it not only improves digestion, but reduces inflammation (think achy joints), strengthens the immunity, and even adds luster to the skin!

Plus, I think my simple recipe for acorn squash below qualifies as fast food. Throw one in the oven just for yourself if the kids prefer a pizza. If nobody is around to share the second half, enjoy it for lunch the next day, as I just did!

Acorn Squash Delish!

One acorn squash, halved and seeded
1/2 to one onion, depending on your taste, sliced thin
butter or ghee
1/2 t. cumin
1/2 t. coriander
1/2 t. turmeric
1/4 - 1/2 t. salt
Saute the onion in the butter or ghee till soft. Sprinkle the spices over the cut squash halves. Fill cavity with onions. Bake at 325 until soft, about 30 - 40 minutes. Easy!!

An Ayurvedic Massage for the Mind

After a 14 hour drive to PA last Thursday, three days of training, and a similar drive ahead of me, I decided to indulge in an Ayurvedia massage and Shirodhara treatment. While massage is pretty mainstream nowadays (for good reason!), Shirodhara is less familiar.  Shirodhara is it’s own experience, but following a massage, it makes the experience complete. It is a massage for the brain.

This is not me. But, the treatment looks
like this.

I had an amazing, vatta-balancing massage and ended on my back. Neema (my intuitive Ayurvedic therapist, and co-student at my training this weekend) covered my eyes with cotton. My head tipped slightly back, she positioned a pot of warm oil several inches above my forehead, the spigot aimed at the hairline. With a word to ready me, she opened the spigot, and warm oil began to flow, touching down, then flowing toward the back of my head and into a pan.

While the oil was warm, and only touching one spot, my whole body sprang into alertness. After a few breaths it calmed, and after a bit, Neema slowly moved the stream to first contact the center of my forehead. Then she sat quietly by my head.

I’d like to say that I immediately went into a deep state of bliss, but that wouldn’t be true.  Although I’ve had this treatment once or twice before, it’s still fairly new, and my mind stayed active for awhile. “What should I be thinking about? Should I be more relaxed? Should I be meditating right now? If I leave right after lunch, I’ll get home about....2:00am?  What is for lunch?  Is Neema meditating? How big is this pot of oil?”

Thankfully, it was a big pot. Gradually, my mind slowed to match my heavily relaxed body, and all the sensation, all the focus and energy, gradually gathered at the tiny point where the oil met my forehead.

That spot, the center of the forehead, or third eye, was abuzz. I think I have a pretty active third eye (judging by the way people are looking at me sometimes I think it must be glowing), so it jumped to the ready for this treatment. The rest melted away, and all the hype was right in that one spot.

After a good 30 minutes, the oil drained. As the last drops touched down and the stream ended, I felt a literal sucking sensation, from the ends of my hands and feet, right to that third eye and out. I’m a great visualizer, so I envisioned that all my bad habits, limitations and samskaras were being sucked right out of me. I’m sure that was true, as now I find I am perfect in every way. Hmmm.

Neema took some time to massage the oil into my scalp, wipe away the excess, and sent me off into a steam room for a final cooking. After 20 minutes I emerged, exfoliated and showered, ready for a sattvic lunch and a 14 hour drive. Which, amazingly, ended up being only 12 hours. I’m certain it was my newly-honed mental focus that allowed me to cut through any traffic and obstacles and get me safely home, in bed, by 1:00am. 

If you'd like to know more about Shirodhara, here is an interesting link.  And, if you think you'd like to try it, there are practitioners closer than Pennsylvania. One, Monica Yearwood, an Ayurvedic therapist that has presented at Focus Yoga, practices in Chicago.

Aparigraha and Bugs

This weekend found us at our farm with another family. They also have two girls, the oldest of which is in the same grade and school as our oldest. The mother informed me of some homework the girls had in science; they were to find three bugs, pop them in a jar with a cotton ball soaked in nail-polish remover, and then stick them with a pin onto a foam diorama, making a display of the bugs depicting them in a “natural habitat.”

The other mom and I are good friends, and kindred spirits in following a spiritual path. It didn’t take much discussion to discover we were both a little torn. The idea of the girls tossing a living thing into a stinky jar to asphyxiate it didn’t settle right, even if it was “just” a bug.

But, let’s be honest. I’ve thoughtlessly smashed quite a number of bugs in my day. Wasn’t it a little hypocritical to suddenly take the high road now? And...we were at the farm, probably the best location in the world to find bugs, both indoors and out. Finding three bugs each would be the easiest homework they’d have all year.

That much was true...within minutes they had two bugs each, and without even leaving the dining room. Given that the critters were in “our” space, it just didn’t feel that evil to plop them in the jar.

Wanting the girls to also find some bugs in nature, I led them outdoors to the tall grass around the ponds. We crawled around, and suddenly came upon a crowd of crickets. We grabbed up several, quickly surpassing the required three bugs, and viola! Mission accomplished.

But, hanging around the pond in the sunshine felt so good that we took our time heading back to the house with our bugs, and that’s when it happened. In the very tall grass right next to the pond, I saw him.

“Eva! Look at this!” 

This was it...our triple A+, eye-popping, celebrity-ensuring, cherry on the cupcake find. The most gorgeous spider in the world. An inch and a half from the tip of one long, thin black leg to the next, with a very large, bulbous black body highlighted in bright, lemon yellow spots. Spread out in the center of a huge web woven in the grass. Amazing. 

“I want it!!” Eva said.

“It’s wonderful!” I said. “You’d get an A for sure!”

Then, my friend spoke up. “But Eva, you already have your three bugs. He’s so beautiful. Don’t you think we should just leave him?”

Silence. Damn. Damn. I knew she was right. But, he was so gorgeous. Wouldn’t that be the insect to bring into school!

“But I want him!” Eva said again. She came forward with her jar. “He is so cool!”

“Eva, I think she’s right,” I said. “We already have all the bugs we need. Why don’t we leave him here?”

Eva countered, I did also, and after a couple of rounds we sat there, just looking at him, so still in his web.

“Maybe he’s dead,” I mused. “If he’s dead, then it would be okay to take him.”

“Yeah!” Eva said. “He’s so still! I bet he’s dead.”

We moved forward with a little stick. As we got closer, we both saw a leg move. Damn.

We sat there a little longer, debating this spider’s life vs. my daughter’s potential coup. Then it happened. Quick as a flash, instead of a spider sitting alone in it’s net, there was a spider holding a bit, fat fly.

“Did you see that?!” I cried. “He just caught a fly!”

“Cool!” Eva said. It sat very still, but, having read Charlotte’s Web several times, I believe that at that moment, it was slowly sucking the blood out of the fly.

The plot thickened. Since the blood-sucking spider clearly wasn’t following ahimsa (non-violence), did that maybe let us off the hook? After witnessing this viscous display, maybe it was okay to let it have it’s last meal, then toss it into the stinky jar?

Fat chance. I knew killing for survival and killing for an A were not the same thing. But, Eva clearly wanted the spider, so I had to try another line of logic. Eva had told me once that she liked the philosophy of Taoism. 

Now, other than every so often reading a few pages of the Tao Te Ching, I know nothing about the concepts of Taoism. Maybe Lao Tsu’s home was lined with little bugs, impaled with stick pins onto painted replicas of “natural habitats.” But, I really doubted it.

“Eva, don’t you think that Taoism frowns on killing that beautiful spider?” I asked.

“Mom!” she rolled her eyes. “That’s not what Taoism is about!”

“What’s it about?”

“It’s about loving and appreciating nature and animals and stuff!”

“Well, doesn’t loving and appreciating this spider mean not killing it and sticking it with a pin?”

“No, it doesn’t.”

We both knew that neither one of us knew enough about Taoism to score any points. But, there was one thing I did know.

“Eva, sometimes following the high road on our spiritual journey means making difficult decisions.”

“What’s ‘the high road’ mean?”

“It means doing the right thing, even if we don’t get the A, or impress other people. It’s following our spiritual principles, even if that means giving up something we really want.”

Just then, in a flash, there was another flurry of action. Suddenly the fly was completely wrapped in white.

“Ooooh!” we both said.

We sat quietly for a minute longer, watching the spider finish the process of creating his meal. “You know,” I said. “If you had killed the spider, we would have never seen this.”

“I know,” Eva agreed.

I looked at the big, beautiful spider, in the sunlight, enjoying a meal in the high grass on the banks of the pond. That would be the coolest thing in the world to bring to school. And the saddest.

“Eva, do whatever you want to do. I have to go in to make lunch,” I said as I got up.

I went inside and as I worked I looked out the window at Eva still sitting in the grass, watching the spider. A couple minutes later she came inside.

“Did you get it?” her friend asked her.

“No,” she said. “If it was already dead, I would have taken it. But, I didn’t want to kill it.”

Now, I wish I confidently led her in the morally right direction, but truthfully, a part of me wanted her to plop that spider in the jar. It would have been amazing to share. The farm has so many truly beautiful bugs; dragonflies, beetles, grasshoppers. We could have created a kick-butt diorama. That spider would have been so impressive.

It was a little unnerving. After all, if I was truthfully following the “spiritual path,” with the “spiritual principles” that I held up so righteously to Eva, I wouldn’t have thought for one minute of harming that spider, right? If I were really successful with my practice, wouldn’t the greed of wanting to impress, at the expense of a life, have never existed? Is practicing aparigraha (non-greed) not feeling greedy...or feeling greed but not following through?

The answer is, aparigraha means not feeling greed. It’s the feeling as well as the action. Clearly, we made the right decision for us. However, I needed to talk both Eva, and myself, into it. My friend never had a moment’s hesitation about what was right, and I admire her for it. Perhaps as I continue practicing, I will flow into such clarity. 

But, I also have no doubts that if this day had happened 10 years ago, that spider would be stuck onto foamcore right now. There has been progress. 

We will find ourselves struggling with decisions, and hopefully make the right choices, many times. Each small decision can be a small triumph in our practice. “Practice” does not mean perfect. It means needing to think, over and over, until it becomes second nature. And, if we need to consider or even struggle with each decision, instead of automatically doing the right thing, so be it for now. Over time the rough edges of effort will smooth into ease, and there will be no choices. We won’t need to think. 

Tapas and Pulling Weeds

This morning I finally went to my backyard to pull weeds from the vegetable garden. It really isn’t a vegetable garden anymore, as I’ve  let it go this year. My focus has been in other directions, and the garden had become a jungle. Weeds were, and I’m not kidding, at least 4 feet high. I feel empathy for the neighbors who have been watching it get to this state over the past couple of months, as I certainly haven’t.

Anyway, it didn’t get like this overnight, and it was going to take some hot, sweaty, and itchy work to find what few plants I have still growing between the weeds. As I started pulling, I was trying to find some sort of lesson in the mess (cause I do that). 

Finding the lesson really was fairly easy. Most of us have aspirations of living in a healthy, balanced way. At some point we make a plan, and begin to follow it. This is my garden at the beginning of the summer, weeded, mulched, with seeds planted.

We do well for a while, then, something happens. Perhaps we’ve eliminated coffee (I raise my hand) and have a particularly tough day. We treat ourselves to a cup. (I raise my hand.) A few weeds pop up in the garden, and nobody is looking.

That cup tastes so good. The next time we feel a little sluggish or cranky, we think about that cup of coffee again.  The weeds begin to gain height and strength, and several more begin to take root. 

But once we’ve opened the door of opportunity a little bit, these habits get a toe hold in and slowly, when our back is turned, inch the door open wider. While an occasional treat of anything is generally fine, it’s when the occasional becomes habitual that we lose ground. Soon the weeds become a ground cover...where is the garden? 

Our best intentions often go this way. We sincerely want a healthy life (clean garden) and know how to create it. What is missing?

In yoga we call the missing ingredient "tapas". The translation from Sanskrit is “heat”. In yoga is it used to describe the focused effort and self-discipline of the yogi on the spiritual path. But the connection to heat is very important.

First, it is important to remember that nowhere in any yogic texts is it implied that the practice of yoga is easy. In fact, the very difficulty, the very effort, creates a sort of friction. The friction is created between our cravings and goals, our desires and the higher path, our attachments and our inner knowledge. When we are working with a deep desire or attachment, and trying to follow the right path, that friction we feel creates heat. That is the heat of tapas.

Heat creates transformation. Heat transforms our food, allows us to change the shape of metal, and rejuvenates landscapes (think forest fires as a natural occurrence). The heat created by our efforts is what transforms us.

Given this, we should not feel discouraged when we have trouble in creating change in our lives. We should allow ourselves to feel the effort, the discomfort. Back off and give in, and the heat of transformation dissipates.

Tapas is a good thing. It needs to be created and cultivated, like my garden. It needs to maintained through constant applied effort, like regular weeding. With regular effort, the weeds may pop through from time to time, but will never again take over the original plan, a clean, productive garden.

I created a little heat this morning bringing the mayhem back in order. In retrospect, perhaps the heat of a blowtorch would have been useful. Sigh.

Studying at the Ashram

While in the strictest sense, the Himalayan Institute in Honesdale, Pennsylvania may not fulfill the strict definition of "ashram" (a Hindu religious retreat), many of the visitors, teachers and residents here refer to HI as "the ashram". It is a spiritually charged community of learning for students of all religions, backgrounds and experiences, and I feel fortunate to have the opportunity and ability to drive 14 hours into the rolling Pocono Mountains to spend several days studying yoga and Ayurveda here.

HI is housed in a sprawling, brick building that used to be a seminary. Long halls are lined with small, simple rooms for guests. The spareness is so refreshing, coming from a home with a clutter table in the kitchen, books strewn about, all the messiness of an active family.

I’ve arrived on the hottest weekend of the year; of several years, actually. There is no air conditioning, except in the coffee/tea shop (yes, there is a coffee shop, and it’s a pretty hopping place). Each room has a fan, but the heat becomes oppressive in the rooms at night. I spoke with a woman this morning who suffered an anxiety attack in the stuffiness and almost packed up and left in the middle of the night. Luckily, the heat is more bearable today.

This particular ashram is located on abut 400 acres of beautiful fields and woods. On the property is an old dairy barn that now houses an herbal lab, an art/production studio (Hi publishes many books and publications, including Yoga International), and a warehouse. There is an organic vegetable garden as well as an herb garden, where medicinal herbs are grown. There are several houses where residents and families live.

In July, even in the heat, the outdoors here is energizing, full of Prana. Coming from the flatness of Illinois, one of my highlights was hiking through the woods to the waterfall. It was the most enjoyable cardiovascular thing I have done in a long time. While it takes great physical effort to walk the path on such a steep incline and decline (think staircase steep), the mental effort is practically nil; just put one foot in front of the other. No need to work harder; the incline gives you the effort.

Sattva is a quality of peaceful, balanced energy. It is focused. It is conducive to a healthy body and mind, and creates the optimal quality for meditation. The entire 400 acres, the space inside and out, is sattvic in quality.

The food is vegetarian, much from the gardens, very simple, chanted over by the cook staff, and designed to be sattvic as well. Oatmeal and fruit for breakfast (maybe my favorite, tofu scramble, yum!), rice, beans, vegetables for lunch and dinner, with non-heating spices. Salads and fruit. I have heard some comments that it’s a little repetitious.  I won’t really argue. But, I’m never left hungry, and have no cravings, (except for a chai tea from the cafe, which is delicious). I feel satisfied.

One can be as social, or non-social, as you’d like; there is no judgement. There are hours of observed silence, and a table observing silence in the dining room. After evening classes and prayers, things become amazingly quiet.

I am here for a training; Yoga Ayurveda Specialist. Although we meet morning, afternoon, and evening for class, there are spaces of time. The 7 1/2 hours of learning does not encroach on that. Naturally, having meals prepared, and no real work other than to learn makes that easier. 

Today, we participated in a Vedic fire ceremony, an offering to the transformative powers of fire, dedicated to the healing of our planet. Sandra Anderson began the chant as eight participants sat around the burning pit, (the rest of the group farther back awaiting their turn,) and at her cue tossed gifts of “food” into the fire. We rotated in at intervals. I listened to her chant on and on in sanskrit. There seemed to be no repetition in lines, and I was amazed she could memorize so much. As I rotated in closer to the pit, I saw she had a binder with pages in front of her. I thought “Well, that explains it!” and this made sense until I was just about to take my turn. I was close enough to see that the entire text was in the sanskrit alphabet, beautiful to look at, but as legible to my eye as a decorative wallpaper border. Sandy chanted for about an hour from this text.

It’s so easy to feel balanced and healthy in mind and body in this environment. There is none of the opulence and luxury you may find in a spa. Your feet feel firmly grounded in the earth. You feel cared for, but never pampered. The temptation to give into, well, temptation, just isn’t there; as a spiritual seeker you are supported on all levels. 

I have visited here twice so far and each time feel the unloading of stresses, self-judgement, and mind-clutter that a good yoga class will provide, except on a prolonged and larger scale. And, of course, when I leave tomorrow, I will be heading back to many of the stresses, judgements and clutter that provide the challenges that we, as householder yogis, struggle with. The ashram teaches us skills then sends us home to practice, and maybe share these skills in the larger world. I have 14 hours on the road to look forward to, to integrate and revisit the ideas my teachers have been so generous to share. Then the work begins.