The Maggie Mind

Yesterday was our first horse show of the year. It was a long one, had its ups and downs, and for a while, mostly downs. As I dragged myself toward bed last night, a thought occurred to me and from now on whenever my mind can’t be quieted, or it heads down paths I don’t prefer, I’m going to call it my “Maggie Mind.”

For the past several years we have owned a big, black Tennessee Walker named Mack. Mack is mature, and last year calmly and patiently led my two girls, Eva and Sylvia, through their first season of 4-H fairs and horse shows.  But, volleying one horse between two girls was tough, so this year when I had an opportunity to borrow a second horse for my daughter Sylvia, I took it.

Maggie is also mature, and while she matches Mack’s quick stride and long gaits, she is a very different horse. Maggie is gentle, but insecure. She enjoys her work, but she needs something to attach to help her through uncomfortable situations.

In the pasture, that security blanket is the leader horse. Horses run in herds, and  in a herd there is one horse in charge. The other horses understand this, and are comfortable with it. They feel secure. Maggie has been happy to let Mack be her leader.

However, in the saddle, the rider should become the leader. Remember, horses want to know someone is in charge. A good rider helps them feel secure as they go into new situations. 

After a handful of rides this spring, we had an opportunity to enter a small, casual local show. While we knew Sylvia and Maggie were still getting to know one another, we decided to enter for experience.

Any concerns I had were justified right from the start. The first class was a pattern each horse and rider performs solo. Maggie could not let Mack and Eva out of her sight. She pawed and hopped whenever they were separated.

In the next class, Mack and Maggie were able to be together in the ring, and Maggie took full advantage. She glued herself to Mack. Sylvia didn’t have the courage to separate Maggie from Mack. Although they looked like siamese twins, they performed fairly well.

Things went downhill from there. Maggie’s quick lope became way too fast in the next class, earned her the label “runaway horse” and she and Sylvia were unceremoniously (but kindly) ejected from the ring. The next class required the horses to perform a short solo pattern, and Maggie just couldn’t keep her mind on her work unless she was right next to Mack. She misbehaved through that class as well.

Watching my daughter bravely struggle in the ring, I hatched a plan. We’d scratch the next class, and I’d take Maggie out for a little ride, a little talk. My exhausted daughter gladly handed me the reins as she exited the ring.

I lengthened the stirrups and took a deep breath. I was nervous knowing what I’d have to do and what Maggie’s reaction would be, but I was also a little mad. And, a little “mad” can be good. Not reactive, impatient anger, but more like the “oh for heaven’s sake, Maggie!” type of anger that lets us know enough is enough, and it’s time for change.

As anticipated, Maggie resisted leaving Mack’s side. We put on a little show as we worked our way up the drive away from the ring. I turned Maggie in the direction we were to go, she resisted. I firmly turned her nose back, she reared and backed up. I drew her into a tight circle a few times to get her attention and tried again. She’d give in that time, only to challenge me again later. And again, and again.

I spent a good 40 minutes riding Maggie around the ranch, patiently going through the same process over and over. I praised her when she did well, quickly corrected her to keep her on course the moment she challenged my leadership. And then, something gave. It was as though suddenly, she was satisfied. I could be her leader. She could function without Mack. She became calm and willing.

Our uncontrolled mind is very much like our friend Maggie. It is insecure, latching onto things to keep it occupied, to make it feel busy and safe. Sometimes it even runs away with us. But, the direction may not be the way we, as meditators and yoga practitioners, want to go. 

Sometimes the uncontrolled “Maggie” mind defaults to habitual thought patterns, or “samskaras” that are unhealthy. Worrying, complaining, ruminating, and judging all are easy activities for our minds, but they do not head us down the correct path.

The controlled mind is the horseman. It needs to firmly direct the Maggie mind, correcting it, keeping her nose directed down the proper road. In meditation, the moment the uncontrolled mind begins to take over, the meditator exercises and strengthens the controlled mind, encouraging the mind as a whole to stay on a smooth, quiet path.

In horsemanship the rider needs to be strong, and in yoga and meditation our work is to strengthen our mind control. As an older rider, I have more experience, and have developed patience and gentler hand as well. My daughter, at 10, is still learning these things. Most of us are new to our meditation practice, and our Maggie mind is strong. But we can be patient and firm as we strengthen our riding skills, or controlled mind.

We can evoke this image as we meditate. Focusing on the breath; picture the breath as your path. As your mind begins to wander, imagine it as a horse choosing another direction, the way it is comfortable and secure. Evoke your firm and patient “horseman” to draw your mind back to the breath, the path. Be kind, your mind is unsure, and may be nervous of this quietness. Be patient, as it will take practice for your controlled mind to begin to strengthen.

Although Maggie still presented challenges as the show continued, Sylvia’s experience improved and she began to have fun. Maggie sometimes turned left when Sylvia cued her right, but Sylvia patiently brought her back to the right path. The high point was the crepe paper game, a team event where two horses and riders rode side-by-side around the arena holding a short length of crepe paper between them, closely and synchronized so the paper would not rip. Yes, not surprisingly, my girls and their horses finally won their ribbon.